I want to share a personal story that happened to me recently. It may sound like a small problem, but it caused me a lot of anxiety for weeks. Looking back now, I realize that the problem was not only about a utility pole. It was also about fear, uncertainty, and learning to trust Allah.

It Started with a Small Surprise

One evening in early July, after Maghrib prayer, I was taking a shower when I heard someone digging outside my rented house. I decided not to pay attention to it because I thought it was not important. After I finished, my wife told me that she had just seen some unknown men standing in front of our house, between the fence and the drainage ditch. When we went outside, they had already left.

We found a freshly dug hole in the ground, right next to an existing PLN electricity pole, and there was also a utility pole lying inside the drainage ditch. I felt angry because nobody knocked on our door, introduced themselves, or explained what they were doing. I covered the hole with dirt and dry leaves. The utility pole was quite heavy, but I was so upset that I dragged it by myself from the ditch in front of my house to another ditch near the cemetery.

Looking for an Answer

That night, I waited until after Isya prayer because I wanted to calm myself down first. I knew that if I talked to someone while I was still angry, I might not think clearly. After I felt calmer, I visited Pak Kadus to ask whether the internet company was allowed to install the pole there.

Before explaining my concern, I apologized for disturbing him at night. He was very friendly and welcomed me warmly. We had a calm and respectful conversation. He explained that the internet company already had permission from the RT, RW, and the village office. Even after hearing that, I still felt uneasy. I kept thinking, “What if the land beside the drainage ditch actually belongs to the owner of the house?”

About two weeks later, I decided to tell my landlord. They thanked me for informing them and explained that the land beside the drainage ditch, and even the drainage ditch itself, was part of their property. I also gave them Pak Kadus’s phone number so they could discuss the matter directly. After they talked to each other, Pak Kadus told them that the pole would be installed outside the residential area instead.

When Fear Became Bigger Than Reality

I thought hearing that would make me feel better, but it didn’t. For weeks, I kept thinking about the pole. Every night before I went to sleep, my heart beat faster, and my hands even felt a little numb for two or three days. I even dreamed about the pole.

One night, while I was still awake, I heard a group of people talking outside my house. The voices seemed to come from the same place where I had closed the hole. My heart started beating faster again because I thought they had come back to install the utility pole. This time, I went outside and politely asked what they were doing. They told me they were only putting up a small advertising sign to promote a new housing development. I also asked why they were doing it in the middle of the night, but I didn’t get a clear answer. The next morning, I saw the advertising sign and felt relieved. Looking back, I can see how my anxiety had made me expect the worst, even when the reality was something completely different.

Then I realized that I was not only worried about one pole. I was afraid that if one pole was installed in front of the house, more poles would follow in the future. I imagined another internet company putting up another pole, then another company doing the same. I also worried about what might happen if one of the poles fell over during strong winds or bad weather. I kept imagining it falling onto our rented house and hurting my family inside. I have seen many places where utility poles and cables have become overcrowded, and I did not want the front of my rented house to slowly become a jungle of poles. My mind kept creating one “what if” after another until I almost believed it would really happen.

Finally, Peace

Yesterday, everything finally changed. I saw that the pole had finally been installed, but not in front of my rented house. It had been moved outside the residential area, just around the corner. As soon as I saw it with my own eyes, I felt a great sense of relief. My anxiety became much smaller because the uncertainty was finally over. It was not enough for someone to tell me the problem had been solved. I needed to see the result myself, and when I did, my heart became much calmer.

What Allah Taught Me

This experience taught me several important lessons.

First, communication really does solve conflicts. If I had never told my landlord, they would never have known what happened. Because my landlord and Pak Kadus communicated with each other, they found a peaceful solution.

Second, not every fear becomes reality. My mind imagined many utility poles standing in front of the house, but none of that happened. I also learned that anxiety can make us believe the worst is about to happen, even when the truth is much simpler. The people I heard talking in the middle of the night were not installing another utility pole. They were only putting up a small advertising sign.

Finally, Allah reminded me that my responsibility is only to do what is right, speak politely, and make my best effort. The result has never been in my hands. It has always been in Allah’s hands. Alhamdulillah, the problem has been solved, and with it Allah also gave me back the peace that I had been missing for weeks.

Looking back, I realize that the pole was never the biggest problem. My fear was. The pole only existed outside my house. Fear had entered my heart.